Yaoi Mountain
by icywarm
Summary: Candy Mountain parody, Yaoi Mountain, featuring Erika, Izaya, Shizuo, and Walker. Prepare yourself for Oocness and mentions of Shizaya. One-shot. Crackfic.


**Alright. This idea came to me while I was scooping the litter box. I was typing up Nai Wata Shi, chapter 12, but I'm a little stuck. I know what I'm doing, but typing them up is proving to be a little hard. So, I'm just going to type up this little one-shot. Hopefully, by the time I'm done, I'll be able to type up the rest of Nai Wata Shi.**

**Summery: Candy Mountain parody, Yaoi Mountain, featuring Erika, Izaya, Shizuo, and Walker. Prepare yourself for Oocness and mentions of Shizaya.**

Erika was having the time of her life. By that, I meant that she was incredible bored. The other three members of the van were not in said van, and she had finished reading all the yaoi-based manga she had with her. So, Erika was bored. She paced around the outside of the van and even took a nap. Nothing eased her boredom. That is, until she saw Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara walking together, towards her. Suppressing her fangirl instincts, less she scare them away, she exited the van, and waited for the two men to finish making their way up to her.

"Erika! You'll never guess what Shizu-chan and I found while he was throwing random objects at me!"

"What?" It had to be something good, considering that the two were not hiding their love for each other from her.

"It's a map, to Yaoi Mountain."

"Shizu-chan! She was supposed to guess by herself!"

"Oops. My bad."

Erika was not paying attention to their words. The only thing she could wrap her mind around was Yaoi Mountain. "Let's go!" Erika was too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice that Shizuo and Izaya both grinned evilly at each other. She didn't even notice how no one in the entire city seemed to be surprised that the two weren't trying to kill each other. She just followed blindly after Shizuo and Izaya.

"Wait, what's that?" She asked upon seeing something.

"I HAVE COME TO SHOW YOU THE WAY!"

"Walker?" Said person was wearing parts of cosplays consisting of parts of Inuyasha, Naruto, Ryuk, and Sailor Moon cosplays.

"A; IOBVLRDFKJBIUL KDJNHBKZSDJLFBKJCLXN KFXJBN XGJVOKLXHBSIFH ISOUFG IAROGYH I!"

"He's spoken!"

"He has told us the way!"

Erika was now completely confused as to what was going on. Wait, were Walker's eyes open? She was unable to check because Shizuo grabbed her right hand, and Izaya grabbed her left, pulling her along. Both wore huge grins that didn't fit them. Erika was starting to have a few doubts about this Yaoi Mountain."

"I'm not so sure there really is a Yaoi Mountain."

The two men gasped in surprise, and simultaneously spoke. "Shun she who does not believe in what she once did! She must be banished to the realm of never yaoi! The realm of never yaoi!"

"I believe you! I believe you! Don't send me to where there is no yaoi! I need it!" Again, Erika did not notice the evil grins that the two gave each other, nor did she notice how no one was affected by the clearly out-of-character behavior. Their journey continued.

"Erika! Erika! Erika! Erika!" Shizuo was way too happy for her tastes. What on earth could have possibly happened to these two lovable people?

"What is it, Shizuo?" Erika asked it in her sweetest voice, letting everyone know that she was pissed.

"WE'RE ON A BRIDGE!" Erika jumped as the two screamed that sentence at the top of their lungs. Everyone in Ikebukuro, maybe even everyone in Japan, knew how loud Shizuo could be, alone.

Eventually, they arrived at a cave with letters carved into it reading **Yaoi Mountain**. Erika's eyes widened as she stepped into the cave, a-waiting her precious yaoi.

"Good-bye, Erika." _Now_, she noticed the evil way the two said that sentence simultaneously.

"Bye? What do you mean good-bye?"

Blackness.

When she awoke, she had a very bad feeling in the pit of her heart. Unable to figure out what it was, she made her way back to the van. It would only be later, that she would find out the yaoi in her yaoi fangirl-ism, was removed.

Unknown to her, the entire city was in on this plot to get her to stop her yaoi ramblings. Everyone was sick and tired of her trying to force people who obviously hated each other, together. CoughIzayaandShizuoCough. Izaya and Shizuo had also formed a temporary truce just to get the girl to quit obsessing about yaoi.

Unknown to the whole town, she was right about Shizuo and Izaya being together.


End file.
